Clinging on to the Bible
Yesterday the docs came to tell me that they suggested to do a biopsy. A bronchoscopy. No.. not the dinosaur.
A bronchoscopy: A procedure where a thin tube- bronchoscope is passed through your nose or mouth, down your throat and into your lungs.
Thanks. Having a tube down your nose AND throat. Have you ever put your finger down your thoat until you gag? Imagine having to shove the finger DOWN your throat. Won’t you want to throw up? A tube into your nose. Having an irritated nose is already bad enough.. Having a tube through your nose to your throat..
I was calling God to help me, just by thought of these 2 things in my airway.
As if that process is not daunting enough, the docs have to tell you the risks of having the procedure. The risks included a punctured esophagus, abrasion on your throat, a puncture in the lung causing the lung to collapse, bleeding in the lung and possible complications.
Ah.. no big deal.. If in any case my lung collapse, just put me on the ventilator.
I had to decide to go for the biopsy or not. If I don’t go, they will not know what’s going on inside that is causing the ‘significant mass’. If I go, I bear the risk of possible lung collapse.
I was so scared, but after a discussion with my husband, we decided to go for the biopsy.
A brother from church came to visit and he shared the verse from the Bible “When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.” Proverbs 3:24 which was just the verse I needed.
So, the doctors said that I will be given local anesthesia, and I will be drowsy enough to fall asleep.
Nah. I was FULLY AWAKE during the whole procedure which lasted 45 mins. I had to allow the doctors to put the tubes into my nose and throat. You know the more you struggle, the more tense your muscles will be. I had to do the unimaginable, which is to willingly allow something to gag me.
I cannot move because they had to secure the tubes, I can feel every movement that the equipment made. I heard everything the doctors said. They covered my eyes. Otherwise I would have seen every expression the doctors were making.
All I had with me was my Bible. I was literally grabbing the page of Proverbs 3:24. Calling out to Jesus to help me go through the procedure without a hitch. I had to fully, totally let go of controlling my gag reflex. Letting go, leaving it all in the hands of Jesus. Trusting Him that He will watch over the whole procedure.
Thank God I managed this hurdle.
The procedure ended about 10am. I was well enough to want to eat food, despite having this horrible experience. God really watched over me.
More amazingly. I was able to attend via-video conferencing an Alpha session the very same evening. The purpose of Alpha was to start a conversation with the non-believing members of my extended family. Through my hospitalization, more than expected family members turned up for Alpha in support of me.
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.: Genesis 50:20
Indeed, God has planned all these series of event for good!