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  • Candice C.

The longest day

Updated: Mar 17

Wednesday 20 Feb 2019

Believe it or not, God will have a way to make things happen.

Since I have decided to see a doctor, I thought I will make an appointment for the Polyclinic. Now, the polyclinic appointment booking slots will only be open at midnight of the day. At midnight on 20 Feb, I was sleeping as usual. I was in deep sleep but woke up at exactly 12.01am. No disturbances, no kid crying, no wanting to pee. I just woke up, look at the clock on my HP. Exaclty 12.01am. Coincidence?

I took my handphone and proceeded to make the appointment on the Health Hub app. At my appointed time.. Went to the polyclinic, the usual, wait and wait.. Then my turn came. Walking to the doctor’s room, I was still thinking tell or don’t tell… I was already keeping a secret for 3 days. I had to tell the doc when she asked me why I was here.

Long story short, she sent me to the X-ray department after hearing i cough blood. After the X-ray was done..the doctor took a long time to see me again. I could see her going out of her room, then another doctor went in. They just took a long time. By this time, I was already in the polyclinic for 2 hours. I just had the feeling that something is not right and they are not telling me.

Then my mother called me. My heart froze. My mother, I did not know what to tell her. She asked me where I was and I said “polyclinic”. I could feel my voice trembling, because I did know what to tell her, I did not want her to come and find me, I did not want to lie. She said why is it taking so long at the polyclinic? I said “don’t know”. Next thing was, the doctor called me. I opened the door and saw 2 doctors. You know something is wrong when there are 2 doctors. My doctor said “you must go to the hospital now. If you don’t go by yourself, I will call the ambulance to send you there”.

I thought, “wah.. So serious meh?” The doctor then showed me the X-ray. She said the white mass should not be there in my right lung. I was in denial and bargaining with the doctor, “Can I go tomorrow, Can I go later, I have to pick up my child from school, nobody take care of her after school…"

I knew there was no way out, when she said I will monitor if you have checked yourself at the A&E from their system. Went home with the X-ray and letter, it was starting to rain.

I decided to get a GrabHitch to NUH. You don’t always get a ride with GrabHitch, but I got my ride the moment I put it up. Who else could have planned it better? Called my husband, tell him I have to go to A&E and I asked him to come home to take care of our kid. I did not want to ask my mum for help, because I did not want her to panic.

About 12noon, At the A&E, I have never been to any A&E and be attended to immediately, amazing. I walked in, with my X-ray and letter, I hardly sat down and the triage nurse called me. At this time, I was starting to feel very scared. I could not hold back my tears anymore, and the nurse asked me if I am OK. Of course I am not OK. I have been instructed to go to A&E. Nobody gets instructed to go to A&E. They took me inside to see the doctor.

I remember sitting on the hospital bed, needing emotional support. I called my BSF leader. I know she will not panic. I called her and told her I was in A&E, talking in between sobs and cries and sniffles. I just remembered telling her how scared I was and I don’t know what is going to happen to me. She listened to me and prayed for me. She prayed for Jesus to help me, the Holy Spirit to calm me down. She assured me that Jesus is there and He will take care of everything. Words of prayer are very powerful. When in times of chaos and mental instability, filling your head with words of assurance from the Bible helps tremendously. Like I experienced. I managed to smile after the call. Was not a crying mess.

The doctor came, did not do much, wheeled me to another part of the A&E. The treatment part of the A&E was packed. I remember being pushed through people that were at the corridors of the treatment area. I was parked at an isolated area, only me and 1 nurse. I thought, WOW, this A&E experience is first class leh. And I was left there. I waited there until about 3plus pm. I thought I would leave, AOR discharge from the A&E and come back tomorrow. I asked the nurse will I get a bed soon, she said soon, but was not commital. Another 40 mins passed, I was about to get off the bed to leave, when the nurse came in to tell me that a bed was available. Impossible.

Getting beds in restructured hospital is a pain. And the timing of this to prevent me from leaving is impeccable. Who else could have planned this but God? Then I got assigned an isolated ward. Only me. Nice private room. By 4 plus pm, the doctors came, I was seen by the leading respiratory doctor who happened to be retiring tomorrow. I was his last case. God sent me the best doctor to decide my treatment plan before the doctor retired. A CT scan was quickly arranged by 5pm.

I can only imagine what my kid was thinking to hear about Mummy in hospital, when the last she saw that Mummy was fine. First night in hospital. First time leaving 2 kids with husband. A sleepless night.

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